Moving Lessons: Overcome Fear With Knowledge

Recently, my wife and I have decided to move to Austin, Texas. This decision was not an easy one for us. In fact, it’s pretty scary, considering we’re downsizing to a one bedroom and we’re going to, temporarily, live on half of what we are used to.

Yes, these are big changes. Yes, the decision was hard. But, in making the decision there was an incredible learning experience, giving us insight that would not have been available to us.  Not only was the experience filled with countless debates, numerous pro and con lists, several budget reworks, but it really forced us to examine our lives, our faith and personality.

It’s reasonable to assume that, at some point, we all have to make huge, life-changing decisions. But, we all know that those types of decisions will be few. Most of our lives will be filled with day-to-day work, savings and holidays. Because life-changing decisions are so novel, I think it might be of some value to someone to talk about a few of the realizations behind my decision to make a risky move.

We are all risk averse. It’s about context.

I’ve always considered myself to be someone who has no problems taking risks. I’d talk a good talk…that’s all…talk.  But, as soon as I was faced with the decision to move or stay I became very, very risk averse. When everything is on the line, everyone gets a little fearful. If you have any chance to really take that next step, you have to get a new perspective. 

As I was experiencing the fear, I knew it wasn’t right. I knew fear can be seductive and easy to live in, making people feel smart as they accept a less-than scenario. But, I just couldn’t shake it. It was too much. The fear began when I thought  about income, housing, friends and all the things that I could lose. I’d focus on the potential loss so much that I couldn’t see any positive. I didn’t consider the market, long-term benefits or the idea that starting over could be more profitable. I just couldn’t see any other scenario where I didn’t loose everything. I was stuck at the horror floor. 

It wasn’t until I began to gain a new situational context that I became more comfortable with the move. I put aside the potential loss aspect of everything, which isn’t reality, and began to find the facts and learn what was the true reality. I asked my friends, family and gained their opinion. I looked into different statistical measurements about the area and find where I might be able to make an impact in the community. I began to look at the move in a long-term context and how that might impact me  personally and professionally. The more research I did the more it was apparent the move would be worth it. I realized that I wasn’t going to lose everything and end up under a bridge. 

The more knowledge I gained, the more reality became more…real. I saw my fears for what they were..unreasonable. And the more I dug, the more I began to think, “Hey, this could work.” 

In the end, I learned that fear really is paralyzing and can only be fought by knowledge. If you’re faced with the chance to jump at somthing, but can’t get past your own horror floor, get knowledge. Even if you end up not taking that chance, knowledge will let you know you’re making the right decision. Otherwise, you’re letting fear win.